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Delete my account.
Just get it over with. There are absolutely no reasons tied with the resignation of my account. Just do it and please don't ask further questions. Don't ban, DELETE.
I don't care about the "orphaned" posts. If it is possible, you can transfer them to anyone you wish to deliver them.
My request will probably go rejected and ignored but I'm serious. If you don't comply, it would be unfair as I would have a higher chance of success in having my account obliterated from the database had I possessed a meagre post count of 500.
Anyway, goodbye.
NOTE:
NOT A JOKE THREAD.
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