Stupid IRC quotes, best of Bash server!

[Orpheus]

frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

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<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a
chick came up to me.. hugged me, kissed me, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wth?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the girl had stolen my cellphone =(

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<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

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<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

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<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

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<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

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<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back idiot"

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<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

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<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

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<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

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<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country

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Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh sh*t!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

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<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

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<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

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<TriPa^> my mother is a cleaning fanatic
<TriPa^> one Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straighten it up
<TriPa^> we had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess
<TriPa^> as she watched us work, it was clear that Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it
<TriPa^> finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked Mom:
<TriPa^> can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?

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Spreadursunshine: wow you werent online all yesterday
EinhanderMKII: Yeah I was out doing things PRODUCTIVE
Spreadursunshine: omg! its a breakthrough
Spreadursunshine: like what?
EinhanderMKII: fixing my internet

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<Big_Fat_Duck> wait its stuck at updating
<Big_Fat_Duck> 1 second left
<Big_Fat_Duck> ready to play in approx. 1 second
<Diazo> it's a M$ second

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*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

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<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUZZ" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> FUZZ
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> FUZZ
<Spazz> FUZZ
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> FUZZ
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying FUZZ
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying FZZU
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> FUZZ*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says FUZZ and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

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<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

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<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez and mp3z through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

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<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

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Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

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<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

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<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a l33t song son

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<DigiGnome> Real life should have a search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

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<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

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<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file

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<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

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[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH NOOO!!!
[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY!!!
[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

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<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

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Orpheus

[putnik]

Yeah, those were good ones. I see you've changed some words that were explicit. The Harry Potter one is funny with the whole 'wand to wang' thing. LOL, brings back memories of bash.org

Thanks for the bashings, michal

[Orpheus]

[cvrk3]

you can post some of this in clickjoke.com.( check up the site names. It is owned by TNTCheats.

[antioco2003]

I love this one:

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

[broken]

hahaha, that stuff it well funny!!

[Orpheus]

I like this ones:

<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUZZ" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> FUZZ
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> FUZZ
<Spazz> FUZZ
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> FUZZ
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying FUZZ
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying FZZU
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> FUZZ*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says FUZZ and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

and

AFK, Tornado




Orpheus

[jeramy]

my favorite i have ever read on that site is a guaranteed pickup line.

<Edofnor> #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

i dont think i ever laughed so hard over a pickup line before.

[joshg678]

FUZZ


LOL

Damn if you can sit here and read the whole darn thing you really have no like.

i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file