Relationship/Breakup Advice
Hey!
I wanted to get opinions from people on what happened to me. 2.5 months ago I left a guy who wanted to be with me. We've been friends for 4 years before that, and I met him when I was with another guy 4 years ago. We really connected so well and went travelling together last year, but he didnt try to be with me, etc in all that time. Then last October, he started really liking me, and asked me out in December. I kept resisting, and the first time I said no and that I wanted to be friends only we didnt talk for 1 month. One reason is something said no in my gut. A big reason was that he waited years before he "realized" he liked me. He even later mentioned that while we were travelling he was trying so hard not to fall for me. THen he said its been far too long and to come by to see a movie with other friends. I came (I missed him sooo much). Then when I went there and as I was leaving he hugged me. It was really connecting. Then we started messaging each other, etc and talking into the early morning. This went on for a month. Then one night he was like "in the future if youre going to be with a guy you need to give him more (emotionallY), but I was keeping a distance b/c I didnt want it to get too close too much and I wanted the friendship. Then as he was driving me home, I hugged him and we couldnt let go and there was so much chemistry. We ended up getting closer, and for the next few weeks got really close. But I kept having doubts and would tell him and then wouldnt talk to him for a few days. This happened a few times. Our souls connected on every single level. We would laugh at everything/anything anywhere, were the same religion (and really connected with our love of that), and I felt so good around him (would share so many of my ideas with him) and couldnt wait to tell him all that happened in my day. We even connected on an intimate level so amazingly that it was something not of this world. It was honestly unbelievable. He was the first guy to hold me like I needed to be held. He submitted to me and I to him. I've never experienced that kind of love before (where I felt like I could be in control and he could too at different times). The thing is he was so nice that I didnt know when he was mad and I couldnt tell what he was thinking sometimes. And he's left a girl before without her suspecting anything, so that really worried me.
Then I kept having doubts, and felt like Im not supposed to be here, and then one day I was feeling like I had to get out of the city so I drove around to another city and then he came to my house in the middle of the night b/c I told him what I did and he was so worried. I then told him that I cant lie to myself anymore and said I cant be with him. I was crying in his car the whole time b/c it felt like my heart was ripped out. Its been almost 3 months now, and Ive been crying everyday, and am now in a full depression that Im overcoming. Plus I finished univeristy and so many good friends moved away. Yesterday I cried 4 times and everywhere I go reminds me of him. Even the most random things. I tried messaging him to see how he's doing and he didnt respond (although he did respond right after the breakup). I think Im so sad that I lost a really good friend. He has a light about him and he could make even a terrible person feel comfortable. He's like an angel. I have such a hard time believeing I'll even meet someone better than that or even meeting someone, when before I was so sure of it.
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06-27-2009, 11:38 AM
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