Animals

[kcmandava]

What is a Ratchet?
Something a little bit bigger than a Mouse shit.

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?
A cock that stays up all night!

What did the horny toad say to the frog?
Rubit Rubit.

There's two fish in a tank, one says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this?"

A Chinese man walks into a shop with a parrot on his shoulder, and the shopkeeper says, "Blimey, where did you get that?". And the parrot says, "China, there's loads of 'em there."

A big bear and little rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks. "Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies "no". So the bear wiped his arse with the rabbit.

A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call the AA. His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car. The penguin, being a good natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks.

After an hour he got in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and went back to the garage covered in ice cream. The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying, "It looks like you blew a seal." Blushing, the penguin said, "Oh no! It's just ice cream."

A rabbit hops into a butchers' shop and says "have you got any cabbages?". The butcher says that he doesn't sell cabbages and the rabbit hops off. The next day the same rabbit hops into the same butchers and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, slightly peeved, says "look I told you yesterday - I'm a butcher, I don't sell cabbages, now piss off!" The rabbit hops off.

The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers again and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, completely pissed off now, snaps "No I haven't got any chuffin cabbages! If you come in here again asking for some cabbages I'm gonna nail your fuckin ears to the floor!" The rabbit is scared by this and quickly hops out the door. The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers and asks "have you got any nails?" The butcher replies "no". The rabbit says "have you got any cabbages?"

There was a young man that was studying to be a ventriloquist walking along one day, when he noticed an old Indian man sitting in front of his little store. The old man had his dog laying by his chair, a horse tied to a post nearby, and a sheep in a pen. The young man thought to himself that he would have a little fun with the old man so he walked up to him and asked if he cared if he talked to his dog.

The old man replied "Umm go ahead dog not talk". So the young man went over near the dog and to the Indians amazement seemed to be carrying on a conversation about how bad the Indian treated his dog, bad food, no exercise, etc. So the young man turned to the Indian and asked if it would be alright to talk to his horse. The Indian replied, "Umm go ahead horse not talk."

Again the young man went near the horse and seemed to be carrying on a conversation with the horse about how his owner mistreated him, tied to a post all day, bad food, etc. This time as the young man turned to the Indian man whose eyes were bulging in amazement, the Indian man quickly told him: "Don't talk to sheep - sheep tell lies!"

[L4nc3k]

lolololololol.
Nice joke chaitanyamandava
Kept it as reference(u won't mind, right?)
-Lance