Funny Stuff folks!!!

[ramy292]

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates ....
"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deers there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows, everything should be in balance. "

One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"

God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.... "

The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."


God replied - "Look at the neighbors, I gave them."

[ramy292]

One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.

One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = riot

One Gujju = a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

One Andhraite = chilli farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

One Tamil-Brahmin = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tamil-Brahmins = maths tuition class.
Three Tamil-Brahmins = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tamil-Brahmins = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on
your foot in the train at rush hour

One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar.
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.

One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs
adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten other trading communities


One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.

One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

[kcmandava]

The first one is good. I couldn't guess what was coming. The second is quite old.

[armstrong26491]

I've heard a variation of that first joke (except it's scotland V England)

[IamTheKing9]

The first one made me laugh. Not the second one, though.

[ramy292]

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology".
The town's fathers were not too happy with that sign, so they changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors".
This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".
No go.
So they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics".
Thumbs down again.
So they tried "Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives."
Still not good.
So they tried "Minds and Behinds".
Unacceptable again.
So they tried "Lost Souls and Ass-holes".
Still no go.
Nor did "Analysis and Anal Cysts," "Queers and Rears," "Nuts and Butts," "Freaks and Cheeks," or "Loons and Moons" work either.
So they finally settled on "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends"

[aalishan]

BRthat was good BR
FONT color=#ff0000**Please don't quote the original message if it is that long. Quote removed**/FONT

[rohipno]

is that it ? guys i thought we had a funny bone .. somewhere between the femur and the inner ear i guess .. keeping my ears to the ground on this one ..

[superbeowulf]

i loved all the jokes.